When I started my liquid diet (last Tuesday) ... I was 406. The day I left the hospital (this past Wednesday), I was at 386. I just weighed today ... 371.
35lbs lost in like 11 days. WHAT???
CRAZY!!!
I've been having a hard time this week wondering if I did the right thing ...
The answer is YES. YES I DID!
Also, today is the first day of NO PAIN MEDICINE! Looking forward to going out with the Mrs. tomorrow - just for a drive and to get out of the house for a while. God is so good.
Saturday, September 24, 2011
Friday, September 23, 2011
Summary of my Gastric Sleeve experience
Well, surgery was this past Monday. My wife and I arrived at Physicians Regional Hospital in Naples, FL at 6:30 Monday morning. I was processed into preop and surgery was set to start at 8:15am. I had an IV started, a shot of Heprin in my abdomen (for blood clots .... quite painful shot), and met with the surgeon and his team. Everyone was incredibly professional and caring. Dr. Bass answered all my questions and the anesthesiologist was very thorough in explaining his roll in the procedure. My wife and mother were there with me until I was wheeled into the O.R.
Once in the O.R., I got a shot of morphine to mellow me out and was strapped down to the operating bed - and a little freaked out. Before I knew it - I was out cold. The whole procedure took about 2 hours. I had some bleeding and breathing complications - but it wasn't anything they were unable to control, and their fast response was fantastic.
I woke up in recovery so confused and being moved upstairs to my room. I remember being in a tremendous amount of pain and having the breathing bag on me with someone pumping it. I didn't like that. They had to roll me on my side to slip a board under me to get me in my bed - and I wailed the whole time. The pain was incredible. As soon as I was in bed and had oxygen on and my heart monitors hooked up - I was given a hefty dose of morphine and dilaudid and all was well with the world.
Day one was spent in and out of a drug induced state, I got up and walked a little - and got more drugs. I was unable to even have ice chips, so I used mouth moistening swabs to help with cotton mouth. I had some friends come to see me during that evening - and it was great.
Day two started off with a leak test. I was wheeled down to x-ray and had to lay flat for some belly pics, then drink some NASTY barium. It was clear and thick - and left a HORRIBLE taste in my mouth. So, I stood with my back on a plate and had a curved x-ray thing moving up and down against my stomach as I drank 2 large sips of the nastiness. I got to watch on a monitor the barium travel down my esophagus and into my stomach - then deposit into my small intestine. Very weird! I was cleared - no leaks!
Day 3, I met with Dr. Bass and got the OK to get off oxygen. I had my drain removed (super freaky feeling), and was cleared for take off. I made the hour long trip back home.
First night at home was HELL. I was warned it would be - but it still sucked SO much ass. The pain meds they send you home with are no comparison to what you have while in there.
So far, I've lost 20lbs - and I haven't weighed since Wednesday. I don't plan on weighing until I get to the surgeon for a followup next Thursday.
I'm feeling ok. Still some pain, and having a VERY hard time getting in fluids - but I'm praying it gets better every day.
Once in the O.R., I got a shot of morphine to mellow me out and was strapped down to the operating bed - and a little freaked out. Before I knew it - I was out cold. The whole procedure took about 2 hours. I had some bleeding and breathing complications - but it wasn't anything they were unable to control, and their fast response was fantastic.
I woke up in recovery so confused and being moved upstairs to my room. I remember being in a tremendous amount of pain and having the breathing bag on me with someone pumping it. I didn't like that. They had to roll me on my side to slip a board under me to get me in my bed - and I wailed the whole time. The pain was incredible. As soon as I was in bed and had oxygen on and my heart monitors hooked up - I was given a hefty dose of morphine and dilaudid and all was well with the world.
Day one was spent in and out of a drug induced state, I got up and walked a little - and got more drugs. I was unable to even have ice chips, so I used mouth moistening swabs to help with cotton mouth. I had some friends come to see me during that evening - and it was great.
Day two started off with a leak test. I was wheeled down to x-ray and had to lay flat for some belly pics, then drink some NASTY barium. It was clear and thick - and left a HORRIBLE taste in my mouth. So, I stood with my back on a plate and had a curved x-ray thing moving up and down against my stomach as I drank 2 large sips of the nastiness. I got to watch on a monitor the barium travel down my esophagus and into my stomach - then deposit into my small intestine. Very weird! I was cleared - no leaks!
Day 3, I met with Dr. Bass and got the OK to get off oxygen. I had my drain removed (super freaky feeling), and was cleared for take off. I made the hour long trip back home.
First night at home was HELL. I was warned it would be - but it still sucked SO much ass. The pain meds they send you home with are no comparison to what you have while in there.
So far, I've lost 20lbs - and I haven't weighed since Wednesday. I don't plan on weighing until I get to the surgeon for a followup next Thursday.
I'm feeling ok. Still some pain, and having a VERY hard time getting in fluids - but I'm praying it gets better every day.
Monday, September 19, 2011
Here we go!!!
We're leaving for the hospital in about 3 hours ... and I could just fall over dead. I'm getting super nervous and have wicked heart burn. I made sure to shampoo my belly hair in the shower so I'm squeaky clean for the doc. LOL.
The hospital is about an hour away ... and I have to be there at 6:45. I feel like I'm going to have a damn stroke before I even get there. I've been talking to the Man upstairs all night - pretty much giving Him everything short of a Power Point Presentation of WHY exactly he should keep me around.
Everyone's kind words have really touched my heart. My wife packed her laptop (it's much smaller and lighter than mine), so I'll be sure to post asap. I also plan on posting a video from my iPhone (as long as the hospital has decent WiFi) - so check it from time to time.
See you on the losers bench!
The hospital is about an hour away ... and I have to be there at 6:45. I feel like I'm going to have a damn stroke before I even get there. I've been talking to the Man upstairs all night - pretty much giving Him everything short of a Power Point Presentation of WHY exactly he should keep me around.
Everyone's kind words have really touched my heart. My wife packed her laptop (it's much smaller and lighter than mine), so I'll be sure to post asap. I also plan on posting a video from my iPhone (as long as the hospital has decent WiFi) - so check it from time to time.
See you on the losers bench!
Friday, September 9, 2011
It's not you … it's me.
So my wife had her first consult with Dr. Bass today, and I was there for moral support for her as she was for me. I had thought last night I might ask if I could move up my surgery by a week since my insurance was approved a little faster than expected ...
I didn't sleep all night wondering what the Dr. would say ...
Groggy and frazzled, I asked ... and they accepted! My surgery is now scheduled for 9/19!!! I start my liquid diet this Monday ... and I'm ready. I'm nervous about it ... my addiction is suddenly gone in a few days and I've got to face that - but I'm prepared and stoked!!
This is the last weekend of 'food freedom' I'll ever have, as I start liquid pre op on Monday. I am approaching this, oddly enough, with mixed feelings. I'm not doubting the surgery or anything, or even doubting my ability to adhere to the strict guidelines - I think it's more that I am beginning to mourn the life long relationship I've had with food. Part of me feels it's HOARD time and to stuff in what I can this weekend ... part of me is ready for Monday to get here already. I've talked it over with my wife and have come to this conclusion ... whatever happens this weekend - it will be guilt free. If I have a little (or a lot) too much of whatever - it's ok. I'm not going to continue the cycle of negativity and self hatred that we all have been used to. Will I drink in excess this weekend ... you bet your sweet ass I will. Will I enjoy one last liason with my illicit love affair with sweet sugary sensations ... perhaps I will, and that's ok.
I have never felt more in control. It's no longer a question of IF I'll ever lose this weight. It's now WHEN. I know, come Monday morning - I regain control of my life. I take the reigns back and steer myself in the direction I see myself going in to - and not having to settle on ANYTHING anymore.
Good bye, my old love. It's not you ... it's me.
I didn't sleep all night wondering what the Dr. would say ...
Groggy and frazzled, I asked ... and they accepted! My surgery is now scheduled for 9/19!!! I start my liquid diet this Monday ... and I'm ready. I'm nervous about it ... my addiction is suddenly gone in a few days and I've got to face that - but I'm prepared and stoked!!
This is the last weekend of 'food freedom' I'll ever have, as I start liquid pre op on Monday. I am approaching this, oddly enough, with mixed feelings. I'm not doubting the surgery or anything, or even doubting my ability to adhere to the strict guidelines - I think it's more that I am beginning to mourn the life long relationship I've had with food. Part of me feels it's HOARD time and to stuff in what I can this weekend ... part of me is ready for Monday to get here already. I've talked it over with my wife and have come to this conclusion ... whatever happens this weekend - it will be guilt free. If I have a little (or a lot) too much of whatever - it's ok. I'm not going to continue the cycle of negativity and self hatred that we all have been used to. Will I drink in excess this weekend ... you bet your sweet ass I will. Will I enjoy one last liason with my illicit love affair with sweet sugary sensations ... perhaps I will, and that's ok.
I have never felt more in control. It's no longer a question of IF I'll ever lose this weight. It's now WHEN. I know, come Monday morning - I regain control of my life. I take the reigns back and steer myself in the direction I see myself going in to - and not having to settle on ANYTHING anymore.
Good bye, my old love. It's not you ... it's me.
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Insurance FINALLY did somethin' right!
My surgeon's office just called me about submitting my paperwork through for approval ...
AND IT WAS APPROVED!!!!!
I'm so excited I could just about shit. Well ... not that drastic, but close enough. I was TERRIFIED something was going to go wrong and they would give me the runaround ... but I can rest easy for the next 19 days and know it's really going to happen. God is so good.
AND IT WAS APPROVED!!!!!
I'm so excited I could just about shit. Well ... not that drastic, but close enough. I was TERRIFIED something was going to go wrong and they would give me the runaround ... but I can rest easy for the next 19 days and know it's really going to happen. God is so good.
20 days ...
One thing's for sure, nothing makes a person more aware of their weight and their level of fattness than this process for surgery. With Aetna's 3 month hoop jumping, I've never been more aware of my size ... and never been more depressed by it. I think, what in my life allowed me to get this out of control with eating? What part of me shut down reason when the scale stayed on an upward climb? How could I, am man of reason, justify getting this big? The truth is ... I can't.
I stand now, feeling naked in a crowd, and face my embarassment. I lay it all out there. Yes, I am morbidly obese. I am currently the fattest I have ever been. But that's not the end of my story. This is not the end of the road. I've reached a fork ... and not one with a mountain of food on the other end of it. On one side, I have the sleeve ... and health, happiness, all I ever wanted. On the other side, I have food ... every unhealthy and sinfully delicious indulgence I could ever imagine - calling my name. Beckoning me to come closer and have one more bite.
In 20 days, I will leave that all behind, and I can hardly wait. I'm trying to wrap my brain around no longer being a slave to the drive through or no longer being a slave to my stomach. I've been having an illicit love affair with food ... and I've just ended that relationship. I know I'll have never felt more free than I will when I wake up and it's done.
I've been struggling with weekend pigouts ... I can feel myself mindlessly shoveling in the goods ... knowing I'm only giving in to my addiction, and it's my brain's way of hanging on to that ONE MORE BITE ... before it's all over. The first part is admitting there is a problem ... that's the hardest.
Hi. I'm Josh ... and I'm an addict. I've battled in my past with an addiction to cocaine ... and I tell you what, that's much easier to drop than a Big Mac. I've been clean and sober 3 years (in 10 days), and haven't looked back once. I pray I can do the same with food and never look back to where I was.
20 days until the rest of my life begins - bring it on …
I stand now, feeling naked in a crowd, and face my embarassment. I lay it all out there. Yes, I am morbidly obese. I am currently the fattest I have ever been. But that's not the end of my story. This is not the end of the road. I've reached a fork ... and not one with a mountain of food on the other end of it. On one side, I have the sleeve ... and health, happiness, all I ever wanted. On the other side, I have food ... every unhealthy and sinfully delicious indulgence I could ever imagine - calling my name. Beckoning me to come closer and have one more bite.
In 20 days, I will leave that all behind, and I can hardly wait. I'm trying to wrap my brain around no longer being a slave to the drive through or no longer being a slave to my stomach. I've been having an illicit love affair with food ... and I've just ended that relationship. I know I'll have never felt more free than I will when I wake up and it's done.
I've been struggling with weekend pigouts ... I can feel myself mindlessly shoveling in the goods ... knowing I'm only giving in to my addiction, and it's my brain's way of hanging on to that ONE MORE BITE ... before it's all over. The first part is admitting there is a problem ... that's the hardest.
Hi. I'm Josh ... and I'm an addict. I've battled in my past with an addiction to cocaine ... and I tell you what, that's much easier to drop than a Big Mac. I've been clean and sober 3 years (in 10 days), and haven't looked back once. I pray I can do the same with food and never look back to where I was.
20 days until the rest of my life begins - bring it on …
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