27 days until surgery. I can’t believe it’s almost here! I just called my employer’s insurer today to set up my claim for FMLA and Short Term Disability as I plan to take a full month off of work to get acclimated to my sleeve. All of my meetings with the nutritionist are over until after surgery – and I’ve got to call my PCP tomorrow to set up an appointment for pre op blood work and an EKG. This is all so surreal, I can’t believe it’s almost that time.
In everything I do, I keep thinking … next time around, this won’t be so hard. This weekend, I was climbing my fat ass all over furniture hanging pictures in our new loft and panting like a dog in the sun. All I kept thinking was – in a few months, this won’t be as hard. When dealing with the hot Florida summer, I think – next summer – it won’t be so hard. Next summer – will be the best summer of my life, I think. I’ll be able to ENJOY life – enjoy the sun and the surf – and I will never be the same.
My wife has made the decision to get sleeved as well. She was recently diagnosed with type 2 diabetes – and that basically decided for her. She will be having her surgery sometime in mid-December as she begins her 3 month hoop jumping process on September 8th. I can’t begin to think of the positive impact this will have on our marriage – we both will be on the same road to health and be able to stand firm and support eachother, making our bond even stronger. I can’t wait to experience life with her and be able to have the child-free fun loving travel filled marriage we have always dreamed of. As these days dwindle down towards the chopping block, I am at peace and know in my heart – this is a gift and a blessing that I receive whole heartedly and open handedly.
Life. Is. Good.
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
40 days and 40 nights…
... until surgery. While I was sitting at my desk pouting about the length of time until I am on that operating table/cutting board - I looked down at some tattoos I have on my forearms. I am quite inked up - with about 15 tattoos ... with all different meanings.
Let's backtrack for a moment to the 2 tattoos that gripped my heart tonight. My father took his own life in December of 2006 - in which I was filled with more emotions than I could ever describe in words. I was so angry at him, at God, at humanity. One night, in a time of prayer and reflection shortly after his suicide, I was reminded of Noah. Poor elderly Noah, commanded to build an ark because the Lord was getting ready to 'wipe the slate clean'. Noah had sent out a dove during the end of his journey. The first time, the dove had returned empty handed - letting Noah know the waters had not yet receded. The second, and most important time Noah sent the dove out, it returned with an olive branch. That olive branch signified that the waters were receding. The storm had passed. God was telling Noah, through that little twig, 'Hold on my son, this crazy journey is nearing its end'. The third time the dove was sent out, it never returned and with that Noah knew - it was over.
When my father died - and after that night of reflection, I had two doves tattooed on my forearms - one on each arm. On my right arm, the dove has an olive branch in its mouth, on the left - the dove has a heart in its mouth. Every time I look down at my doves, I am reminded of Noah - and the storm I have endured. My father's suicide was something that shook me to my very core and had me question the very faith I have devoted my life to. With my dove clenching that olive branch, I know the worst of the storm has passed - and everything from this point out is nothing but partly cloudy rain showers. The left arm, with the heart - signifies that 3rd dove. It never returned to Noah, but it returned to me that night, showing me the everlasting love of my Heavenly Father - and showing me that even though I went through that hideous storm - and will endure storms in my life - He is my Arc, He is my Umbrella, My Covering and my Shelter. My Safe Haven.
I said all that to say this ... the great flood lasted 40 days and 40 nights. It took God that time to cleanse the earth of all impurities and evil so He can restore His dream for creation. His Eden.
My body is the earth - full of impurities. These next 40 days and 40 nights until surgery will be spent purging the negativity, the impurities, the hidden skeletons that reside in my closet. My earth, my temple, my body is about to go under a dramatic transformation and become my Eden ...
'Hold on my son, this crazy journey is nearing its end' ... and a new journey is set to begin.
Let's backtrack for a moment to the 2 tattoos that gripped my heart tonight. My father took his own life in December of 2006 - in which I was filled with more emotions than I could ever describe in words. I was so angry at him, at God, at humanity. One night, in a time of prayer and reflection shortly after his suicide, I was reminded of Noah. Poor elderly Noah, commanded to build an ark because the Lord was getting ready to 'wipe the slate clean'. Noah had sent out a dove during the end of his journey. The first time, the dove had returned empty handed - letting Noah know the waters had not yet receded. The second, and most important time Noah sent the dove out, it returned with an olive branch. That olive branch signified that the waters were receding. The storm had passed. God was telling Noah, through that little twig, 'Hold on my son, this crazy journey is nearing its end'. The third time the dove was sent out, it never returned and with that Noah knew - it was over.
When my father died - and after that night of reflection, I had two doves tattooed on my forearms - one on each arm. On my right arm, the dove has an olive branch in its mouth, on the left - the dove has a heart in its mouth. Every time I look down at my doves, I am reminded of Noah - and the storm I have endured. My father's suicide was something that shook me to my very core and had me question the very faith I have devoted my life to. With my dove clenching that olive branch, I know the worst of the storm has passed - and everything from this point out is nothing but partly cloudy rain showers. The left arm, with the heart - signifies that 3rd dove. It never returned to Noah, but it returned to me that night, showing me the everlasting love of my Heavenly Father - and showing me that even though I went through that hideous storm - and will endure storms in my life - He is my Arc, He is my Umbrella, My Covering and my Shelter. My Safe Haven.
I said all that to say this ... the great flood lasted 40 days and 40 nights. It took God that time to cleanse the earth of all impurities and evil so He can restore His dream for creation. His Eden.
My body is the earth - full of impurities. These next 40 days and 40 nights until surgery will be spent purging the negativity, the impurities, the hidden skeletons that reside in my closet. My earth, my temple, my body is about to go under a dramatic transformation and become my Eden ...
'Hold on my son, this crazy journey is nearing its end' ... and a new journey is set to begin.
Monday, August 15, 2011
Kicking 10lbs worth of ass.
When I went to see the surgeon last Thursday, I was told I had gained 10lbs. I knew it was fluid since I had stopped taking my Lasix.
I went to meet with the nutritionist today and am proud to say I've shed those 10lbs in these past 4 days of Lasix. It better have dropped since I've been pissing my eyeballs out!!! Either way - I am a happy boy.
I went to meet with the nutritionist today and am proud to say I've shed those 10lbs in these past 4 days of Lasix. It better have dropped since I've been pissing my eyeballs out!!! Either way - I am a happy boy.
Thursday, August 11, 2011
10lbs of Frustration …
I met with Dr. Bass today ... and hopped on the scales. My wife has said I've lost a few inches because she can wrap her arms around me and lock her fingers behind my back - so I was a little optimistic. I have noticed some leg and ankle swelling, so I know I've been retaining water - but I didn't know how much. I hop up on the scale ... and I have a 10.4 lb gain from last month. WHAT??!?!? I am NOT a happy camper. I have never seen the scale hit 400 ... and I don't intend to. At this point, I'm 399 and some change. I'm quite certain I would have flailed all over the doctors office on my belly like a salmon out of water if I saw a '4' before the other 2 numbers.
Either way, I'm tremendously discouraged. There have only been 2 changes in my diet - one is I've been taking in 1 protein shake a day (low carb EAS or low carb Ensure High Protein) ... the other is I've been drinking a little more lately, as in booze. Generally it's about 1 malt beverage (like beer or flavored beers) a night after work ... some nights it's 2, some nights it's 0. That's only been going on for about a week - as I bought a 6 pack days ago, and still have 2 left.
I haven't been taking Lasix as I should because my job at the cable company doesn't always make it easy to pee a thousand times a day, so I've been putting it off. I really believe that is the culprit. I fell asleep in the recliner the other evening, and when I woke up that morning, my toes looked like little snausages and my feet were swollen. It hurt to walk, etc. They have never fully went down after that. I doubt one beer per night for 4 nights is going to put on 10lbs in a matter of 3.5 weeks.
I'm going to allow myself to have a pity party freak out today - and take my Lasix tonight. I'll just have to piss all night long - which is a-ok with me, if it gets that weight off. I can't let it get me too bummed, because surgery is next month and I won't see this weight ever again.
Either way, I'm tremendously discouraged. There have only been 2 changes in my diet - one is I've been taking in 1 protein shake a day (low carb EAS or low carb Ensure High Protein) ... the other is I've been drinking a little more lately, as in booze. Generally it's about 1 malt beverage (like beer or flavored beers) a night after work ... some nights it's 2, some nights it's 0. That's only been going on for about a week - as I bought a 6 pack days ago, and still have 2 left.
I haven't been taking Lasix as I should because my job at the cable company doesn't always make it easy to pee a thousand times a day, so I've been putting it off. I really believe that is the culprit. I fell asleep in the recliner the other evening, and when I woke up that morning, my toes looked like little snausages and my feet were swollen. It hurt to walk, etc. They have never fully went down after that. I doubt one beer per night for 4 nights is going to put on 10lbs in a matter of 3.5 weeks.
I'm going to allow myself to have a pity party freak out today - and take my Lasix tonight. I'll just have to piss all night long - which is a-ok with me, if it gets that weight off. I can't let it get me too bummed, because surgery is next month and I won't see this weight ever again.
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Ensure ... it's not just for the geriatrics anymore .....
..... Now it's for the Bariatrics too!
Hey all ... you know this is the first place I run to when I have a protein experience ... whether it be pleasant or not. LOL.
I recently saw a commercial for Ensure. They have a new shake out that is specifically high protein. One 14oz shake is 25g of protein, 3g of Prebiotic Fiber (for the pooping), Low in fat and only 5g of sugar.
Anywho, I went over to WalMart to grab these shakes and give them a shot. They have a milk chocolate and a french vanilla flavor. I grabbed one of each. I just tried the chocolate flavor ... well ... let me rephrase that. I asked my wife to take the first sip of the chocolate flavor and to tell me if it was ghastly before I braved a sip. LOL.
When she didn't burst into flames or turn into an extra from Night Of The Living Dead, I figured I'd give it a shot. It's actually pretty good. Sweet - not funky. No protein foamy death taste like some powders are. It's very doable. It comes in a resealable individual bottle ... which I LOVE. After surgery, I doubt my gut will be able to support 14oz at once, so I can just drink what I can and stick it back in the fridge until later.
So, all in all - Ensure High Protein shakes (so far the milk chocolate flavor) get a THUMBS UP from the Ortiz household. :)
Hey all ... you know this is the first place I run to when I have a protein experience ... whether it be pleasant or not. LOL.
I recently saw a commercial for Ensure. They have a new shake out that is specifically high protein. One 14oz shake is 25g of protein, 3g of Prebiotic Fiber (for the pooping), Low in fat and only 5g of sugar.
Anywho, I went over to WalMart to grab these shakes and give them a shot. They have a milk chocolate and a french vanilla flavor. I grabbed one of each. I just tried the chocolate flavor ... well ... let me rephrase that. I asked my wife to take the first sip of the chocolate flavor and to tell me if it was ghastly before I braved a sip. LOL.
When she didn't burst into flames or turn into an extra from Night Of The Living Dead, I figured I'd give it a shot. It's actually pretty good. Sweet - not funky. No protein foamy death taste like some powders are. It's very doable. It comes in a resealable individual bottle ... which I LOVE. After surgery, I doubt my gut will be able to support 14oz at once, so I can just drink what I can and stick it back in the fridge until later.
So, all in all - Ensure High Protein shakes (so far the milk chocolate flavor) get a THUMBS UP from the Ortiz household. :)
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Synonym vs. Antonym
I feel like I haven’t posted in eleven THOUSAND days … or maybe it was about 2 weeks. It’s all the same to me. I’m a little over ½ way through with my insurance hoop jumping requirements. I have another meeting with Dr. Bass on 8/11 and I’ve got my final meeting with the nutritionist on 8/15.
I’ll have to meet with Dr. Bass again in September for my final 3 month prep stuff, then my insurance paperwork gets filed. They have me penciled in for 9/26 for surgery. I’m fairly certain these next 61 days are going to feel like 61 years.
I’m still clamoring my way through different proteins and whatnot; trying to find my tastes. I’ve purchased a Ninja Kitchen System (which is probably the bestest thing EVER) – and I’m using it to mix different shakes and protein rich goodies. I’m pretty sure it’s going to be my BFF during the soft/puree stage.
I’ve had a couple of pretty hardcore surgeries that have had me TERRIFIED in the past. Oddly enough, I’m not nervous about this surgery at all. I think I’m more apprehensive about life AFTER vertical sleeve gastrectomy than I am about actually having the procedure done. With that being said, I’m not going into this blindly or assuming it’s going to be all sunshine and unicorns and I’m going to be 388lbs on the Monday of surgery, and 225 by that Friday. I’m completely aware of all of the risks associated with removing 85-90% of one stomach innards … but I also know the risks associated with living a life as morbidly obese. The ‘morbid’ in morbidly obese isn’t just a word to make it sound serious – or a sadistic name thought up by some skinny bitch.
Let’s look at the definition of MORBID in greater detail:
mor•bid -adjective
1. Suggesting an unhealthy mental state or attitude; unwholesomely gloomy, sensitive, extreme, etc.: a morbid interest in death.
2. Affected by, caused by, causing, or characteristic of disease.
3. Pertaining to diseased parts: morbid anatomy. `
—Synonyms
-- Unwholesome, diseased, unhealthy, sick, sickly; tainted, corrupted, vitiated.
—Antonyms
-- Cheerful, healthy.
The synonyms and antonyms really got me. The opposite of what I am is cheerful and healthy. The polar opposite. To be morbidly obese is basically a polite way of saying miserably fat and diseased.
Yup – that about sums it up.
The risks of NOT having this procedure done FAR outweigh the FACTs of what WILL happen to me if I stay 388lbs. Sure, the sleeve can kill me (highly unlikely … only 0.25% of sleeve patients die as a direct result of surgery). Although the sleeve can kill me … and I’ve got a 1/4 of a percent odd of surgery related death … I’ve got a 100% guarantee of death from the obesity the surgery was created to combat.
Put like that, I’m ready to put my life in Dr. Bass’s hands (literally), and wake up reborn, redefined … and HEALTHY. I will be the synonym rather the antonym. Will you join me
I’ll have to meet with Dr. Bass again in September for my final 3 month prep stuff, then my insurance paperwork gets filed. They have me penciled in for 9/26 for surgery. I’m fairly certain these next 61 days are going to feel like 61 years.
I’m still clamoring my way through different proteins and whatnot; trying to find my tastes. I’ve purchased a Ninja Kitchen System (which is probably the bestest thing EVER) – and I’m using it to mix different shakes and protein rich goodies. I’m pretty sure it’s going to be my BFF during the soft/puree stage.
I’ve had a couple of pretty hardcore surgeries that have had me TERRIFIED in the past. Oddly enough, I’m not nervous about this surgery at all. I think I’m more apprehensive about life AFTER vertical sleeve gastrectomy than I am about actually having the procedure done. With that being said, I’m not going into this blindly or assuming it’s going to be all sunshine and unicorns and I’m going to be 388lbs on the Monday of surgery, and 225 by that Friday. I’m completely aware of all of the risks associated with removing 85-90% of one stomach innards … but I also know the risks associated with living a life as morbidly obese. The ‘morbid’ in morbidly obese isn’t just a word to make it sound serious – or a sadistic name thought up by some skinny bitch.
Let’s look at the definition of MORBID in greater detail:
mor•bid -adjective
1. Suggesting an unhealthy mental state or attitude; unwholesomely gloomy, sensitive, extreme, etc.: a morbid interest in death.
2. Affected by, caused by, causing, or characteristic of disease.
3. Pertaining to diseased parts: morbid anatomy. `
—Synonyms
-- Unwholesome, diseased, unhealthy, sick, sickly; tainted, corrupted, vitiated.
—Antonyms
-- Cheerful, healthy.
The synonyms and antonyms really got me. The opposite of what I am is cheerful and healthy. The polar opposite. To be morbidly obese is basically a polite way of saying miserably fat and diseased.
Yup – that about sums it up.
The risks of NOT having this procedure done FAR outweigh the FACTs of what WILL happen to me if I stay 388lbs. Sure, the sleeve can kill me (highly unlikely … only 0.25% of sleeve patients die as a direct result of surgery). Although the sleeve can kill me … and I’ve got a 1/4 of a percent odd of surgery related death … I’ve got a 100% guarantee of death from the obesity the surgery was created to combat.
Put like that, I’m ready to put my life in Dr. Bass’s hands (literally), and wake up reborn, redefined … and HEALTHY. I will be the synonym rather the antonym. Will you join me
Monday, July 18, 2011
Protein Salvation & Surgery Date
After having a near death experience during a tasting of Profect (GAG), I mixed up a sample packet of Unjury Chocolate Splendor I got in the mail the other day. I mixed it with 2% milk and put a little 1/2 teaspoon of chocolate PB2 powdered peanut butter. I mixed it with a stick blender and braved the first sip.
::Cue the slow motion horror music as I grimace and the cup comes to my quivering lips::
NOW:::
::Cue the choirs of angels singing their praises all in perfect harmony while I run topless through a meadow of wild flowers and spin hand in hoof with a unicorn made of cotton candy and rainbows::
Well, not that drastic ... but the stuff was actually REALLY REALLY good! I'm impressed - and SO glad I finally found something I can stomach.
Also ... surgery is scheduled for SEPTEMBER 26th!!!!
::Cue the slow motion horror music as I grimace and the cup comes to my quivering lips::
NOW:::
::Cue the choirs of angels singing their praises all in perfect harmony while I run topless through a meadow of wild flowers and spin hand in hoof with a unicorn made of cotton candy and rainbows::
Well, not that drastic ... but the stuff was actually REALLY REALLY good! I'm impressed - and SO glad I finally found something I can stomach.
Also ... surgery is scheduled for SEPTEMBER 26th!!!!
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