Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Insatiable ...

I’m not so sure I want this blog to be ONLY about my weight loss journey – because there are many more facets to who and what I am than the number on the scale. As for the weight loss part – I will say I’m 114lbs down in less than 5 months, and I am pleased. My wife is a little over 40 lbs down since her journey began in December.
I’m feeling … rather unsatisfied lately. When it comes to my marriage, I don’t think it’s possible to be any happier than I am right now – and every day that happiness, love and adoration grows to new depths. I’m happy with the strides I’m making with the weight loss – and what I’ve accomplished so far. I’m happy with my life as it stands – the life outside of the 9-5 workday. Sure, we all wish we had a little more dough in the bank account, but I have very little debt and have all of my bills paid early – which is a blessing in this economy. My job is a different story – I’d rather be getting a wire coat hanger vasectomy then walking into my office every day.
My grandmother always told me that my head was in the clouds. I spent days dreaming of what COULD be. My passions are sometimes too big to fit into the picture of my finances or my life now, and that is incredibly frustrating. I want to travel. I want to taste and see and do and feel and experience and LIVE!!! Spending 10 hours a day stuck in a cubicle plugging away at mindless tasks day in and day out – is draining me of my joy. I want to retire in a little vineyard side cottage in Venice or Tuscany … eating gelato for breakfast and watching the sun rise and set from my window. I can hear my Grams now … in my head … GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF THE CLOUDS!!! But why? Why are my dreams and aspirations SO unrealistic? Why does everything I have passion for seem like it would be easier to step into my closet and end up in Narnia? Why do we live in a time when glittering vampires are more real than having a comfortable retirement and traveling the world?
I’m planning a trip to Italy to take place in 5 years …. The hard part is being able to convince myself to catch my return flight home. May just have to miss that sucker.
I’ve got to find a way to discover my joy in my life. As I said before, I am married to the best woman in the world. My life with her is more than I could have ever imagined a marriage to be. We argue MAYBE once a year … and it’s usually my fault. LOL. Ok … it’s ALWAYS my fault. I just wish I could feel that level of happiness in the rest of my life. I’m feeling the shortness of life as I approach 30 – and there are so many things I want to do.
I need a long lost LOADED relative who I’ve never met to leave me a bazillion dollars. Let’s make that happen.

1 comment:

  1. Why does Italy have to be so far away. Do some research about jobs, cost of living, etc. If it is doable - STAY! Unless you have family you cannot tear yourself away from and your wife agrees - live there for a time. You can always come back to the states. Living is now not in 5 years.