Genesis

I'm beginning to think of myself as a Phoenix of sorts. From the ashes, I rise yet again. I have invented and re-invented myself through out my life many times - none as significant as these past several years. 

My weight is always something I've struggled with. I grew up skinny as a rail until my preteen years. I took a turn down a path of insecurity and depression and food seemed to be what consoled me the most. I packed on the weight. I lost it - but always managed to pack it on again, plus a few more pounds for good measure. 

It was a decision several years in the making to have weight loss surgery. I struggled with what that meant, and what I thought it signified. I spent years thinking it was the 'easy way out' ... all the while getting bigger, more miserable, unhealthier and more depressed. I became a slave to myself. Easy way out? Anything but. I have spent the last several years researching, analyzing, weighing and contemplating this decision. What does it mean for ME? What if there are complications during/after surgery? What if I DIE? What will I be able to eat/not eat? As time was ticking, and the pounds were piling ... one thing became inherently clear. If I did not do this, I wouldn't have to worry about surgery killing me ... because I was killing me. Complications from the sleeve gastrectomy are few and far between - and the chances of death are even slimmer. Complications and death from morbid obesity is not an option or a probable outcome - it is guaranteed. This will kill me. Once I realized that, the decision was made. It was as common sense as any other decision I've ever made to better my life. Have surgery - let my insurance pay for it - get healthy .... or continue on this road of internal self destruction and make my wife a widow much too soon. 

This blog is meant for anyone who is struggling, has struggled or will ever struggle with an obstacle in their life that seems almost too big to conquer. We all have that one mountain in our lives that seem impossible to climb. I have 3. One, I have climbed by becoming who I am today. The 2nd ... I am gearing up to climb with this weight loss ... and the 3rd is a general result of the previous 2 and will be nothing but a mole hill after I've climbed my 2 Everest's. In this blog I will share my journey. Every doctor's visit. Every nutritionist appointment. Every little bit of knowledge, inspiration and strength I gather along the way. I will document my ups and my downs. My triumphs and my set backs. My fears and those which I have conquered. I will also be on the search for protein alternatives (consuming nearly 90% protein after WLS (weight loss surgery) is a MUST ... and I'm on the hunt for the least nasty way to do so), vitamin supplements with minimal freaky effects and everything in between. 

My surgery countdown has begun. My health insurance (Aetna) requires I wait a 90 day preparatory period from the date of my first surgical consult. I met with my surgeon, Dr. Thomas Bass in Fort Myers, FL on June 9th, 2011. That was day 1 of my 90. He is with Gulf Coast Bariatric Center and is a really great guy. My appointment lasted nearly 2 hours as he answered a lot of my questions as well as addressed my wife's concerns. He went over my medical records and health issues - and has diagnosed me with sleep apnea. I am not a diabetic, nor do I have high cholesterol. My blood pressure is within the normal range - but has been high in the past. He stated I was a perfect candidate for the Sleeve Gastrectomy (I will post images and videos in other posts of the actual surgery). He stated with my age and determination - he doesn't see why I couldn't reach 75% of my total goal within the first year or so. I have an appointment with his nutritionist on Wednesday 6/15/11, which I am very excited about. She's the bariatric protein recipe diva apparently, and I'm always up for more tips. Per my insurance, I've got to get a psychiatric evaluation to make sure I'm not a nut job and that's scheduled for July 5th with another meeting with Dr. Bass a day or two after that. By that time ... month one of 3 will be under my belt and I'll be that much closer to surgery.

This will be one hell of a bumpy ride and I am well aware that I'll never wake up and be skinny and buff ... but I am ready to put in the work to use this operation to the best of it's ability. One thing Dr. Bass said that has stuck with me was that in order to achieve success, I've got to work WITH the operation and not against it. I can't think the surgery is going to do everything. I've got to take in my 600-700 calories a day post-op, my 100g of protein and vitamins and I've got to MOVE MOVE MOVE. With the support of my wife, friends and family - and my fellow sleevers, I will succeed. I hope this blog can inform, encourage or at the very least entertain you. 

Welcome to my Genesis. My brand new beginning.