40 days and 40 nights…

... until surgery. While I was sitting at my desk pouting about the length of time until I am on that operating table/cutting board - I looked down at some tattoos I have on my forearms. I am quite inked up - with about 15 tattoos ... with all different meanings.

Let's backtrack for a moment to the 2 tattoos that gripped my heart tonight. My father took his own life in December of 2006 - in which I was filled with more emotions than I could ever describe in words. I was so angry at him, at God, at humanity. One night, in a time of prayer and reflection shortly after his suicide, I was reminded of Noah. Poor elderly Noah, commanded to build an ark because the Lord was getting ready to 'wipe the slate clean'. Noah had sent out a dove during the end of his journey. The first time, the dove had returned empty handed - letting Noah know the waters had not yet receded. The second, and most important time Noah sent the dove out, it returned with an olive branch. That olive branch signified that the waters were receding. The storm had passed. God was telling Noah, through that little twig, 'Hold on my son, this crazy journey is nearing its end'. The third time the dove was sent out, it never returned and with that Noah knew - it was over.

When my father died - and after that night of reflection, I had two doves tattooed on my forearms - one on each arm. On my right arm, the dove has an olive branch in its mouth, on the left - the dove has a heart in its mouth. Every time I look down at my doves, I am reminded of Noah - and the storm I have endured. My father's suicide was something that shook me to my very core and had me question the very faith I have devoted my life to. With my dove clenching that olive branch, I know the worst of the storm has passed - and everything from this point out is nothing but partly cloudy rain showers. The left arm, with the heart - signifies that 3rd dove. It never returned to Noah, but it returned to me that night, showing me the everlasting love of my Heavenly Father - and showing me that even though I went through that hideous storm - and will endure storms in my life - He is my Arc, He is my Umbrella, My Covering and my Shelter. My Safe Haven.

I said all that to say this ... the great flood lasted 40 days and 40 nights. It took God that time to cleanse the earth of all impurities and evil so He can restore His dream for creation. His Eden.

My body is the earth - full of impurities. These next 40 days and 40 nights until surgery will be spent purging the negativity, the impurities, the hidden skeletons that reside in my closet. My earth, my temple, my body is about to go under a dramatic transformation and become my Eden ...

'Hold on my son, this crazy journey is nearing its end' ... and a new journey is set to begin.