Synonym vs. Antonym

I feel like I haven’t posted in eleven THOUSAND days … or maybe it was about 2 weeks. It’s all the same to me. I’m a little over ½ way through with my insurance hoop jumping requirements. I have another meeting with Dr. Bass on 8/11 and I’ve got my final meeting with the nutritionist on 8/15.

I’ll have to meet with Dr. Bass again in September for my final 3 month prep stuff, then my insurance paperwork gets filed. They have me penciled in for 9/26 for surgery. I’m fairly certain these next 61 days are going to feel like 61 years.

I’m still clamoring my way through different proteins and whatnot; trying to find my tastes. I’ve purchased a Ninja Kitchen System (which is probably the bestest thing EVER) – and I’m using it to mix different shakes and protein rich goodies. I’m pretty sure it’s going to be my BFF during the soft/puree stage.

I’ve had a couple of pretty hardcore surgeries that have had me TERRIFIED in the past. Oddly enough, I’m not nervous about this surgery at all. I think I’m more apprehensive about life AFTER vertical sleeve gastrectomy than I am about actually having the procedure done. With that being said, I’m not going into this blindly or assuming it’s going to be all sunshine and unicorns and I’m going to be 388lbs on the Monday of surgery, and 225 by that Friday. I’m completely aware of all of the risks associated with removing 85-90% of one stomach innards … but I also know the risks associated with living a life as morbidly obese. The ‘morbid’ in morbidly obese isn’t just a word to make it sound serious – or a sadistic name thought up by some skinny bitch.

Let’s look at the definition of MORBID in greater detail:

mor•bid  -adjective

1. Suggesting an unhealthy mental state or attitude; unwholesomely gloomy, sensitive, extreme, etc.: a morbid interest in death.

2. Affected by, caused by, causing, or characteristic of disease.

3. Pertaining to diseased parts: morbid anatomy. `

—Synonyms

-- Unwholesome, diseased, unhealthy, sick, sickly; tainted, corrupted, vitiated.

—Antonyms

-- Cheerful, healthy.

The synonyms and antonyms really got me. The opposite of what I am is cheerful and healthy. The polar opposite. To be morbidly obese is basically a polite way of saying miserably fat and diseased.

Yup – that about sums it up.

The risks of NOT having this procedure done FAR outweigh the FACTs of what WILL happen to me if I stay 388lbs. Sure, the sleeve can kill me (highly unlikely … only 0.25% of sleeve patients die as a direct result of surgery). Although the sleeve can kill me … and I’ve got a 1/4 of a percent odd of surgery related death … I’ve got a 100% guarantee of death from the obesity the surgery was created to combat.

Put like that, I’m ready to put my life in Dr. Bass’s hands (literally), and wake up reborn, redefined … and HEALTHY. I will be the synonym rather the antonym. Will you join me